Smooth Sailing

And it was smooth sailing after bringing our 14 month old boy home, right?

It was wonderful and we enjoyed being parents finally, but there were hardships that we experienced and some hardships that we had no clue were even going on. This poor little boy was scared to death but we didn't really understand. He didn't cry as we put him to bed for a nap or at night, but he did start sucking his thumb at 14 months.

It was strange trying to get to know your child, your soon to be son, at 14 months because he was not too sure of us. Go slow...but not too slow. Show him love...but give him space. It just takes time right? Wanting to hold him and snuggle him and touch him, that's how to show him love right, that's how to bond? No, he doesn't want me to hold him, he's pushing me away. Feelings of rejection came, sorrow, fears of attachment issues clouded my mind. I didn't want to let anyone else near him, he was mine and I needed him to know this... would he ever know this.

So thankful that God is the Healer, that He knows what He is doing even we have no clue. So thankful that He can redeem things and forgive, that He works all things together for good. Thankful that I am certain that He brought this child into our lives, that He had picked him to be our son- no doubts and that brings peace.

Five Weeks

Five weeks of classes to become official foster parents, five weeks to get a bedroom ready for a 14 month old, five weeks to prepare our home for a toddler, five weeks to train our puppy, five weeks until we had a little boy in our home forever! This was a very exciting time for us. God had been preparing our hearts and directing us to adopt but had a specific child picked out already. We had no idea where he was, who he was, but God did. And despite our wrong directions, He brought us together. We were chosen by the Creator to be his parents and he was chosen to be our son, a perfect fit.

The classes were fun, we got to meet some great people and learn some things preparing us further for the challenges of foster care and the process. Preparing our home was a joy as we anticipated being parents, buying cribs and bedding, toys and gates, highchairs and sippy cups. Painting the bedroom and setting it up, getting everything just perfect.

And it was time...We went to the court house for our first visit, meeting him in a conference room, meeting his wonderful Foster Mom that had had him for a little over a year. He came in and just looked around with these big eyes taking everything in, arms bent at the elbows, toddling around...precious. This is the child God has brought to us.

We took him home for a day visit and enjoyed every minute with him. We played together and ate together, he napped and even enjoyed Heidi. It was a beautiful day. Then we took him back to his "home" with his Foster Mother and we were able to talk with her for awhile and learn more about him.

We had one of two more visits with him and then we received approval that we were able to bring him to our home and make it his home for good. This little boy had no clue what was going on, his Foster Mom was saddened to say good-bye but happy he was with us, we were smiling ear-to ear with beaming eyes and thankful hearts. And so our family of three began.

God's Moving

We were tired of waiting, wondering if our dreams of children would ever happen, wondering how God was going to work. How many more years would we have to wait. It seemed like that's all we did was wait, wait, wait. So, we came home one night with our Golden Doodle and loved her and called her Heidi.

The next day we got a call from Steve's sister:
"I know this women whose child goes to the same preschool that Noelle goes too. She's a Foster Mother of this little boy and he's going to be placed for adoption soon...." She thought she should mention this to us just in case, she listened to the nudging of the Holy Spirit and we are forever grateful.

We took down the information and exhaled. Why does this excite me and not scare me to death? Why do I not care anymore if we adopt locally and not overseas? Why do I not fear birth families like I used to? God must have immediately changed my heart and I'm forever grateful.

We still didn't know if anything would come of this, we were not even in the foster care system, why would they choose us to adopt this little boy...but we made the call to the social worker. She made an appointment with us for the following week. Was God doing something here, was he stalling Vietnam so we would open our hearts to this little boy? Or are we just chasing more dreams that would be shattered. We chose to move forward and find out.

The meeting day, we were filled with excitement and fear, what if they don't choose us? What if there are other parents wanting to adopt him? What if we don't answer questions right? What if, What if, but God. If He wants it to happen it will.

And it did! They interviewed us, showed us his picture, told us about him, and then basically said if we were willing to adopt him they would go with us! What? Could this be real! Could it be this easy! Within a week we had a promise of a child!

And the wonderful whirlwind began!

Endless Waiting, God's Perfect Plan

After we finally had a goal in mind - Vietnam, we began the endless amount of paperwork/home studies we had heard horror stories about. We hired someone to do our home study, spend quite a bit of money with this and securing an agency to pursue a Vietnam adoption. We also decided it was time to find a house that was going to pass a home study. We had looked for a house off and on for a year or two with no luck at all but when God's timing is right, things happen fast. It was our first day looking that our realtor drove us to our house and we knew instantly that we wanted it and within a month it was ours. It was perfect and we were so grateful (still are) for it.

Well, the first year we lived here we had plenty of time to fix it up, paint and repair things, getting it ready for the family we dreamed of and we had plenty of time to wait. And that is what we did, waited and wondered what and how our child would come. January of 2008 we got a call from our agency that Vietnam had closed to all adoptions and they were not sure how long it would be until they re-opened. They told us we could wait it out or we could switch to a different country within their agency. More confusion, more questions, more uncertainty, more disappointment and heartache, more waiting.

We decided to stay with Vietnam...and then we decided to buy a dog!

The Beginning

It was August, 2006. We were just about 4 years into our marriage and we were done trying to have children the "natural"way, felt the Lord had something else in mind. God had been working in my heart, directing us to adopt but we were still so confused. We had so many questions and we were so ignorant of all things pertaining to adoption (thankful God is not). We decided to attend an informational adoption seminar in Georgia in hopes of getting some answers. It was exciting and we took in a lot of information. Adoption seemed much more real in our minds and attainable, we dreamed of what our child would be like, but we still had so many unanswered questions. We took many pamphlets home to review. I knew I wanted to adopt a child from overseas so I would not have to worry about bio-logical parents but we never had a clear sense of direction as to what country...so we began the process of elimination...and chose Vietnam. Vietnam! Now we had direction, right? We thought so and chose an agency to move forward with.

Little did we know, God had different plans. He was preparing our hearts for adoption but we had no clue what else He was doing. But God knew...and he was with our little boy at this same moment...with him in the womb of his Birth Mother not more than 10 miles away from us.