Smooth Sailing

And it was smooth sailing after bringing our 14 month old boy home, right?

It was wonderful and we enjoyed being parents finally, but there were hardships that we experienced and some hardships that we had no clue were even going on. This poor little boy was scared to death but we didn't really understand. He didn't cry as we put him to bed for a nap or at night, but he did start sucking his thumb at 14 months.

It was strange trying to get to know your child, your soon to be son, at 14 months because he was not too sure of us. Go slow...but not too slow. Show him love...but give him space. It just takes time right? Wanting to hold him and snuggle him and touch him, that's how to show him love right, that's how to bond? No, he doesn't want me to hold him, he's pushing me away. Feelings of rejection came, sorrow, fears of attachment issues clouded my mind. I didn't want to let anyone else near him, he was mine and I needed him to know this... would he ever know this.

So thankful that God is the Healer, that He knows what He is doing even we have no clue. So thankful that He can redeem things and forgive, that He works all things together for good. Thankful that I am certain that He brought this child into our lives, that He had picked him to be our son- no doubts and that brings peace.